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Author Topic: Untitled Thing  (Read 8450 times)

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Offline Rfl4222

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Untitled Thing
« on: April 25, 2013, 03:28:46 AM »
  I got back on here and I wanted to be a writer, even though my still may suck more balls than Kim Kardashian before the whore got famous. (I can't believe I made a terrible sex joke) Anyways, I want to do this only in my spare time and I need a bit of help and criticism along the way of the story. I really barely have an idea and the plot down, and I need major help with titles since I can only think of the most over-used ones.

  This will be set in the Bully universe and in Bullworth, and it will be mainly about one character as he struggles through the school year, especially when the Bully rate is at an all-time high along with drug-dealing and other hardships. Even when his mother beats him for trying to be good for her. This will both be done in journal-note and real-time formats and I need to improve more a long the way and I'm more open to critiques.

  I don't know what else to say and I'll be starting the work either tomorrow or two days from now. I started this because Evolution told me about starting it and I thought to myself, "Well shit maybe I should" Now end, shoo, go away until tomorrow.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2013, 05:47:41 AM by ChuckX »

Offline BloodChuckZ

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2013, 11:00:05 AM »
Every Writer has to start somewhere.

Offline Rfl4222

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2013, 12:59:19 AM »
  "Where's my money?!" Tom Gurney said again to Ivan Alexander, "I said, where is it?!" He yelled once more. Ivan was in fear, as if Tom's yells woke him up enough to realize what was happening. Quickly thinking to himself, he wonders how he even got into this situation in the first place, but then he thought of himself as an idiot because Tom is part of the bullies clique. "I'm not waiting all day now give me the fucking money!" Ivan immediately slaps a 10$ bill into Tom's hand just for him to stop blabbering on about it.

  "This isn't all of what you owe me!" Tom yelled onto Ivan's face, droplets of spit falling onto his face. Ivan yelled out in anger and frustration, "Then what do I owe you dammit!" Was that the wrong reply. Ivan was sent flying back at-least 3 and-a-half meters away from where he was standing, ending up unconscious and reported to the Nurse. Barely even conscious after 3 hours and ending up with memory-loss of the situation, Ivan asks what happened to the Nurse.

  "You got your ass beat you little shit." She replied in her usual hoarse voice. "You got knocked back 3 and-a-half meters away from where you where standing according to the crowd you attracted from both of your dumbasses about your stupid owing money shit."

AHH FUCK THIS. Sorry, It's just I can't do good storytelling, I can only do good level design. So here is this promised stupid shit paragraph and I can finally rest at nights without knowing this.

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2013, 01:06:47 AM »
Actually, I seriously didn't mind it.

Don't kick yourself over it dude, my most recent post in the Constantious FanFiction didn't end up being as good as I wanted it to be, but that don't bother me none. There's always time to improve on it. (I was a horrible writer awhile back, and still am not a 'good' one either, but I have improved greatly when it comes to writing).... Which is what everyone can do. You sure as hell started off better than what I did when I first wrote something here. (seriously... Check out the 'Jensen' Fanfic I wrote awhile back, it was purely horrible it makes me cringe)

You have plenty of time to improve.

Offline Nanomachines,son

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #4 on: June 29, 2013, 10:50:32 PM »
Ivan wanted revenge. he looked for a person strong that liked him. No one accepted him. But he found 2 spud guns in his room. "time for payback" Ivan said. So he went the where the bullies hideout was. he shot the spud gun at Russell's head. Knocking him out cold. Same with all of the bullies.

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #5 on: June 29, 2013, 11:11:48 PM »
Ivan then got firecrackers (presumably he grabbed them from up his own ass) and shoved them in Russell's pants for sweet, sweet, revenge. 'Oh no!!' screamed Russell, before he knew it, Russell's balls exploded off. Out of nowhere, Sonic and Angry Grandpa went up to Ivan and applauded him. Angry Grandpa then had buttsex with Sonic.

The End.

Offline Nanomachines,son

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #6 on: June 29, 2013, 11:15:32 PM »
 :confused:

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #7 on: June 29, 2013, 11:18:34 PM »
The story isn't over?... Oh, okay. let's continue it then. (this is one of the greatest stories ever, btw)
__________

Suddenly, a bunch of Jocks arrived, they were angry with sonic because he stole their condoms. "Angry Grandpa, Sonic! Let's beat these bad guys up!111!!!" he yelled.

All the Jocks got beaten down by the force of angry grandpa. Ivan then travelled to Africa where he went on to become a terrorist.
« Last Edit: June 29, 2013, 11:22:15 PM by Evolution »

Offline Nanomachines,son

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #8 on: June 29, 2013, 11:25:15 PM »
uhhhh. ok?

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #9 on: June 29, 2013, 11:33:57 PM »
while Ivan was in the jungles of Africa, he met Trent (for some reason trent is in Africa, idk y, k?) trent said "Hey ivan! what are you doing here?" out of nowhere, a dildo smacked trent in the face and he was down for the count. "waht teh hell?" ivan said.

Offline BloodChuckZ

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #10 on: June 30, 2013, 04:07:37 AM »
In fact, the Dildo was a giant pecker being wielded by a huge Gorilla, who beat his chest and roared at Trent and Ivan, who started running for their lives as the Gorilla began chasing them, swinging his Wang around like a club.

"Where's that Bitch Damon when you need him ?", panted Trent. "Fool always wanted to fight a Gorilla, and here one is !!"

Ivan didn't answer, as he was busy running while stripping off his bomb-laden Terrorist Jacket.  Just when he got that off, he tripped and fell on his ass.  Quickly, the Gorilla was nearly on him, throwing his massive pecker once again.  Ivan rolled, and the Pecker thudded into the ground just inches from his head.  Hitting the switch for the timer at .02 seconds, Ivan lobbed the Terrorist Jacket at the Gorilla and quickly rolled behind a big tree.

KA-BOOM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trent, who had just kept running, heard the explosion behind him and skidded to a stop.   

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #11 on: June 30, 2013, 04:21:28 AM »
"SHIT!!" Trent gasped, "I can't let this get me... I have to keep going..." the boy said quietly, "You can do this Trent-Man! You can do THI -" Suddenly, a huge tree slumped right beside him... The bomb rocked the jungle so bad that trees started collapsing all over the place! Oh noez!

Trent, screaming for his life, started running, dodging the falling trees every step of the way. Out of nowhere, Bruce Willis came to face him, he was armed with a shotgun and a conveniently placed car. "Get in, faggot."

Trent obliged, jumping into the car. While also quietly getting his penis out and silently wanking off. 'This is gonna' to be a good ride...' The Bully exclaimed with glee.

wtf is this?

Offline BloodChuckZ

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #12 on: June 30, 2013, 05:14:16 AM »
{{Itz a real Wank, that's Wot !!!!}}

Offline Evolution

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Re: (Untitled Thing)
« Reply #13 on: June 30, 2013, 05:24:48 AM »
We can thank Wade Martin for all this nonsense!  :laugh:

Offline BloodChuckZ

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Re: Untitled Thing
« Reply #14 on: June 30, 2013, 05:58:30 AM »
While Trent had run off, Ivan crawled from under his tree to look at what was left of the Gorilla.  It was a bloody mess, all right....Guts and organs were spread all over, and the monster's chest blown open.  It's enormous head lay about 50 feet off, tongue lolling from it's stupid-looking face.  The creature's arms and legs were similarly blown far off, Ivan could just barely see them in the distance.  But the most obvious thing was the giant deflating Wang, which was laying on the ground still gushing copious amounts of blood from it where it had been ripped off by the root. 

Ivan looked at it and giggled, which soon turned into uproarious laughter that echoed across the Jungle. 

EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT !!!, he thought, and laughed harder.