I like this ! Tis’ GOOD !
Minor Points that should be edited.....
Head of a school is spelled ‘Principal’
Don’t refer to John as ‘student’ or ‘new student’ in the 4th & 5th paragraphs.
It’s confusing to the reader. Just call him ‘John’
Head of a school is still spelled ‘Principal’
{fix}
“trying to purposely block out [the Headmaster’s] patronizing voice boom[ing] over him”
Title all adults with ‘Mr.’ ‘Ms.’, ‘Miss’ ‘Dr.’ I know, it’s a bitch, but reads better.
{fix to this}
“JUST FUCK OFF, OUT OF OUR LIVES ! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT!! Liza Doesn’t Need You Anyways !!”
{fix to this}
“See You, Father”, were the last words Phillip spat out to his own Father before the man responded by driving off and leaving him there without saying a word.
{fix to this}
Wow, he never thought he’d end up going to such a hell hole of a school, but Hey, look where he was now !
Again, Head of a school is still spelled ‘Principal’
*On a closing note, it is never explained just why Phillip believes the school is corrupt, or anything about fighting, or why ‘his track record for violence can top all the other students who are at this school.' etc. at the school since he just got there. This should be explained at the start.
