Knocked out quotes

[Hayley]

Thanks to Mike_W for the first 8 quotes, and major props to Red Blaster, who did almost everything else.


Dr. Watts: "Ohh, I hope Edna doesn't find meeee..."
Wade: "Aww, bullcrap. That was cheap...cheap...!"
Troy: "Ugh, tell my dad I'm, nah, nevermind...."
Jerry: "I'm bleeding for Christ's sake!"
Officer Morrison: "Ohhh, my best bra is ruined!"
Ozzie: "Ughh...touch...downnn!"
Eunice: "Oh, you....heartless...*sobs*"
Norton: "So you can fight...you're still a tool."

Abby:
- I don't think I can get up...
- There GOES my knee again...
- I think my doctor is right...I...I AM getting too old for this...
- I would've won if it wasn't for my cataracts.
- Just give me my medication and...I will be all right...ugh.
- I can't feel my legs...*whimper*

Algie:
- I want my mommy.
- Mommy...where are you?
- I wanna go home...
- Why does this always...happen to me?
- I think I broke something...everything.
- You're just a big bully.

Angie:
- You may be tough now...but you'll come to a baaaad end...
- I hope you go to prison...
- *Cough* That REALLY hurt...
- I wanna go hooome...

Bambillo:
- Ohhh...how did that kid...beat me??
- I need to stop...hitting...patients.
- *Moan* Wherre am III?
- I think I might need medical...ahhh-attention...

Beatrice:
- *Pained wail followed by crying*
- WHY is the world against me?
- I can't die...I have to go to med school...
- I'm not a happy UNIT...*Sob*

Betty:
- SPARE me...
- You animal...
- Please...let me die with dignity...
- I never thought I'd go like this...
- Just go away...just go!
- I hope you're proud of yourself...UGH!

Betty:
- Ohhh...you S.O.B...you'll get yours! Ugh...
- Ohh, nooo...I can't give up!
- You cheated!...ugh...you BASTARD you cheated...
- This is...not what I expected...
- Ohhh, no...don't take me...not yet!
- Ohh...it's really overrr, ughh...

Bif:
- I need my nanny!
- This isn't over by a long shot!
- My dad is so gonna fire yours!
- Ohh, mommy...!
- You may have beaten me...but I'm still rich!
- Doesn't mean anything...there was no title on the line...

Bo:
- Errrghh, NOOOO....!
- Not now, I'm too young...!
- Eeergghh....
- I won't forget this!
- Nooooo...
- You son of a...!

Bob:
- Ughhh...I'm never gonna hear the end of this...ugh!
- Ugh...you shouldn't've done that...ugh...
- Argh I need to rethink this wrestling stuff...ugh...
- *Sob* I just want to be loved...and HELD with strong arms...
- Winning is the only way my dad will think I'm a man...
- Ughh...I think you cheap-shotted me...ugh...I think...

Brandy:
- Call a doctor...
- Somebody help me...
- It's all over for me...
- I can't go onn...
- There's no fight...left in me...
- Crap.

Breckindale:
- mm-Protect my shares...
- Eeh...someone...bury my treasure! *groan*
- Bring me...my...convertible...eeh...
- WWhere's...where's my tapper?...*groan*
- ehh-My yacht has run aground...ehh...
- Mmm...Change the state tax...

Bryce:
- The fighting machine is out of gas...
- Uhh, guess my training failed me.
- The fight...machine is out of order...
- You-beat-my expensive training.

Bubas:
- Uh, I'm broken...BROKEN! *Pant*
- Where's the brugada? WHERE?! *Pant cough*
- I'm washed up...*Cough*...no one...*Cough*..nothing...! *Cough*
- Ahh...what good does a family do now? *Cough*
- Ehh...I'm just another old man now...ohhh...uh...
- Ahh...I used to big...BIG! *Pant* Look at me now...

Buckingham:
- Once again...I fail...
- The WORLD is out to get me!
- THAT...WASN'T FAIR!
- That shouldn't of happened at all...!
- I'm gonna sue somebody for this...
- I think I broke my...chin or something...

Bucky:
- Ohhh, my duodenum is ruptured...ohoo...
- Ohhhh, I think I need an AMBULANCE...ohh!
- OWWW!...Granny's gonna be so angry!
- Ohhh, I won't forGET this...EVER!
- Oh, I'm so sore...so cold...
- Nothing ever goes my wayy...oh...

Bum Santa:
- Elves! My -inaudible- (sounds like Hose)...why have you forsaken me?
- I think I'll just lie down here and have a little nap then...
- All right...that's enough...you win.
- Ugh, way to go, kid...you just killed Christmas...
- I don't really feel like scrappin' anymore...

Burton:
- *Pant* That ain't fair!
- MOOMMYY!
- Somebody get the nurse!
- My hernia's ruptured!
- Aw, man...that's rotten.
- Get a doctor! It's an emergency...!

Carmichael:
- Help mee...!
- This...really hurts...
- My suit...ruined...
- I think...I'm..bleeding!
- That wasn't very niccee...aaahh...
- You nasty fellow...

Carvin:
- I am NOT doing well...
- Ohh...I feel baaaad.....
- Thiiiis is no good...
- I am feeling very weak...
- I WANT MYY boooks!!
- I am tired nowww...!

Casey:
- I gotta train harder...
- I can't believe you beat me!
- Coach better not hear about this!
- How did that happen...?
- I'm gonna miss practice tomorrow...!
- He had to be cheating!

Castillo:
- Aarrgh, my wife's gonna kill me..!
- At least now I get to spend the night at the hospital...oh...
- I see a light! I'm FREE...of my marriage, of my kid...thank you!
- These bruises don't even COMPARE to my mental anguish...
- I'm so tired of the world...of my life...
- Ughh, at least if I go I get out of my debts...

Chad:
- Call my daddy...call my lawyer...
- Is my face okay...? Oh geez...
- Oh man, am I dying? Is this it...?
- (Groan) Aaahhhh...
- Oh...a hundred dollars for an aspirin, please.
- Ugh, my tummy...my TUMMY...

Christy:
- I'm finished...uhh...
- What will everyone say...?
- Please don't tell anyone...
- Wake me up when school is over!

Chuck:
- Uhh...Oh Jay-zus...ohho...*Scottish accent*
- Ahh...you beat me...ohh damn ye...ohh...
- Ughh...it's over now...ohhh...
- Uhh...tell my wife...I love her...uhhh....
- Ohhhhhh, nooooooo...
- Uhhh...that's it then...uhhh

Clint (aka Henry):
- Uhh, live fast...die young...ohh...
- Ehh...okay...I...let you win...
- Ehh...that...all you...got...ehh...
- Eh...let me just...*pant*...catch my breath...
- Ohh...somebody...get me a cold beer...
- Stinkin'...no good...uhh...
- Uuurrrrghhh...

Constantinos:
- I...want...to die...
- I...hate you...
- Everything hurts...
- Ughhhh...I can't TAKE IT anyMOOOREEE....
- Why did you do that...?
- You'll..regret this...one day...

Cornelius:
- The end is in sight...
- I can see a bright light...
- God help me...
- Ohhhhh...that hurts...
- I'm...in...pain...
- WHYYYYYYYYY?!!

Crabblesnitch:
- It is a difficult calling...
- It hurts ME, more than it hurts YOU...
- This...goes on your permanent...record.
- I'll fix you yet...
- I...just need a quick rest...
- CHILDREN today...

Crystal:
- I-I-I want some cotton candy...
- Send in the clowns...
- Step right up...step...right up.
- How old are you? Really?
- Sorry...you're not tall enough...
- Please, dad...win me a stuffed animal...

Damon:
- This is so embarrassing...
- Okay...that actually hurt.
- I hope coach doesn't find out about this...
- When I heal up, you are so dead...
- You bested me...? Enjoy it while it lasts...
- There goes my scholarship...

Dan:
- Ughh...my head...
- Ohhh...crap...*Cough**Cough*
- Don't let anybody see me like this...ugh...
- Uhh...I can...ugh...take it.
- This really hurts...uhhh...
- Ohhh...that hurts...

Danvers:
- Dr. Crabblesnitch...where are you?
- This is...shocking...
- How could you?
- I need...the doctor...
- Discipline is completely gone...
- Something must...be...done.

Davis:
- Okay...okay...stop...
- I'll get revenge!...I swear it...
- Aaaaargh, DAMN YOU...!
- I'm finished...I hate you...
- Egh...didn't think...I'd lose.
- *Cough* ugh...it's over...

Denny:
- Uhhhhh...Why did you have to kick my...apadravya...!
- Arrgh...you ripped off my NIPPLE ring!...umm...uh...
- Oh...not cool man! Not cool! Ugh...
- Hu-! I-It's okay...I was out of line...ohh...
- Ugh...what does a ruptured spleen feel like?! Ahh...ohh...

Derby:
- Oh no! The father will have to sue for this...
- Mmhm...my lawyers will have to cover this up for me...
- Ah...fighting won't be good on my record...
- Harringtons don't lose...that-was-a-draw...
- Ughh...I'm still more handsome than you...
- This doesn't change anything...I'm still rich...you're still poor...ow...

Donald:
- Oww...my TEETH...aghh...
- Mm-m-mooommyyyy...
- GGGGet away from meee....ohh...
- Uhh-I-I give up...moron....
- Uhh, I didn't...deserve that...
- I should've just run away.

Doolin:
- I got nothin' left to give!
- You got me! I've had it...
- All right, my check (?) is up...I did it!
- Some life I've had.
- YYYEP...sure got my butt handed to me.
- I shoulda' given ya the roundhouse kick!

Dorsey:
- Carney life is hell...
- The others will avenge me...
- I'm gonna get you for this...!
- How did I just get beat up?!
- Ugh...no respect for carnies I tell ya...
- Why'd you have to go do that?

Duncan:
- Ohhh...*Cough*...that SUCKED...
- Uhh...where is...everybody learning to fight all of a sudden...?
- Uhh...this hurts me...more than it hurts...
- Wow...that's a lot of pain...
- (Slowly) Who saw that coming?
- I can't believe, I got beat by him...

[Hayley]

Earnest:
- I’ll… get… revenge!
- Victimized… again.
- I’ll get you for this!
- How humiliating!
- One day you’ll be sorry!
- I won’t forget this!

Edgar:
- I’ll be back…
- I think I’ll just lie here for awhile.
- You ain’t half bad…
- Good fight…
- You’re good…
- *coughs* Ow!

Edward:
- It’s… it’s not fair!
- J-Just let me… catch my breath…
- You can’t… do this to me!
- You’re in… BIG trouble now…
- I need new underwear…
- I need my inhaler. *sobs*

Ethan:
- Ninja… rebirth! NINJA… REBIRTH!
- No…! Not… acceptable!
- This is all a part of my plan!
- I… c-can take it!
- Doesn’t… hurt me at all!
- UH! … got… anymore?

Eunice:
- How can you do this?
- I’m finished…
- Just… get out of here!
 
Fatty:
- Ah… my gallbladder!
- Oh, please don’t puke, please don’t puke, please… don’t… puke…
- Mommyyyyy!
- With my last breath… I stab at thee.
- Uh… a warrior has fallen…
- Oh, I feel something coming up…

Gary:
- OW! I’ll get you for that!
- Ah! Man, that hurts!
- Ouch!, give me a break!
- I won’t forget this!
- I’ll get you back for this!
- This ain’t over!

Gloria:
- You wouldn’t hit a scholar with glasses, would you?
- Defeat is inevitable… I yield.
- A single loss is not a final one! *sob*
- Be noble! Show me mercy!

Gord:
- My Aquaberry sweater…!
- My dad… is going to sue you!
- How did that happen?
- Oh, I can’t believe it!
- It’s just a minor setback…
- I’ll make you pay for this for the rest of your life!

Gordon:
- I would have won if my asthma didn’t act up…
- I could have had you… I let you win!
- You had to cheap shot me! *moan*
- You’re a coward! I can still fight! Come on!
- Yeah… I figured you’d walk away… I just need a breather, that’s all!
- If my back wasn’t acting up you’d be dead right now!

Gurney:
- Ooooh, man!
- I think I broke somethin’…
- I’m really hurt!
- I hope my face isn’t hurt…
- I’m in pain!
- Oooh, I need a nurse!

Hal:
- Oooh, that hurt real bad…
- Oooh, I don’t feel so good…
- I think you broke my ovaries…
- That’s gonna bruise!
- In two/three days when I heal up you’re a dead man.
- So… maybe you can fight…

Ivan:
- Ugh, I needed a nap…
- Just my luck…
- Uh… the agony of defeat…
- Haven’t I suffered enough?
- Typical day for Ivan…
- My spleen! Oh…

Jerry:
- I can’t feel my legs!
- I think you ruptured my stomach!
- I’m dying, don’t leave me here!
- *sobbing* How did that happen?
- I feel weird…I can’t see!

Jimmy:
- Ugh, that hurt…
- *moan*
- Oh, man…
- That sucked!
- I’ll get you for this…
- Ugh, I’ll be back for you later…
- You better hide…
- I’m gonna get you…
- Oooh, that stings…
- *groan* That hurt…
- Oooh… not bad at all.
- I’ll be back!
- That’s nothin’!
- *groan* I’ll live!
- I bet you feel big now…
- My teeth feel a little loose…
- Now that was a good fight.
- I’m gonna learn from this…
- Don’t worry… I’ll be back.
- I can respect a good beating.
- Payback’s coming!
- Alright… you win.
- Can’t argue with a solid beating.
- I don’t know about this whole violence thing…
- Maybe I did deserve that.
- Ugh, how did that happen?
- Whoa… I got my ass kicked!
- This won’t stop me for long.
- You think this solves anything?
- Ugh, that was brutal.
- Don’t worry about me.
- I’ll be alright.
- I think I might have pulled something…
- I might have a cracked rib there…
- It’s just a few scrapes…
- Well… that didn’t go too well.
- That wasn’t the outcome I hoped for…
- Lucky shot.
- Alright… that hurt.
- You win this round.
- Now I really hate myself.
- Aw, man, why does this keep happening to me?
- This place really sucks.
- That hurts far to much…
- That’s sooo not fun.
- What a waste of time.
- *groan*  Why didn’t I just read a book?
- Hey… how’d this happen?
- Let’s… do this again tomorrow.
- Well, whoopee.
- I’ll let you win this time.
- No sir, I didn’t like it.
- Alright. You win.
- *groan* I don’t feel so good.
- I’ll find you, stupid.
- I bet you think you’re real tough, don’t cha?
- I’ll get you later!
- I didn’t really enjoy that.
- Why did I ever come here?
- I hate this place.

Johnny:
- My face!
- I hope Lola didn’t see that…
- It’s just a scratch…
- That didn’t hurt at all!
- Oooh, you took down Johnny Vincent!
- Lola, please come find me!

Juri:
- How, how could I be so weak?
- W-Where did that come from?
- Ah, I need to train more!
- I don’t understand! How…?
- It’s… getting blurry!
- (while sobbing) Oh no! That didn’t happen!

Justin:
- Stop, please! I’ll pay you!
- Pick on someone your own size!
- I’m still richer than you!
- You’ve ruined my fine features!
- I would have paid you not to beat me!
- This isn’t supposed to happen to rich people…

[Hayley]

Karen:
- *crying* I don’t feel good!
- *crying* (in a whiny voice) I hate losing!
- Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?

Karl:
- How dare you… *moan*
- *coughing* I’m down! *coughing*
- Ahhh, defeat! Ooh…
- Uh… how the mighty have fallen…
- Ooh. Majestic… even in defeat.
- Aaaah, my Achilles' heel exploited!

Kirby:
- We’re at the line of scrimmage! Here’s… the.. tip!
- 15 yards… 10 yards… 5 yards…
- I have to wash my letter now. It’s so dirty…
- Please turn the hot water on, coach!
- You’re in trouble now!
- When I get up, you’re pound cake…

Lance:
- You could have proved your point without fighting.
- I haven’t even achieved half my goals!
- *moaning*
- You’re just like the rest of them… pathetic.
- Why me? WHY ME?
- I’ll remember! I’ll revenge!

Lefty:
- *coughs* Gotta quit smokin’…
- Ooh, this sucks to my ass. *whine*
- Ooh, I need a smoke!
- Gotta switch the filters…
- Ooh, I hope no girls saw that.
- Ah, what a stupid fight…

Leon:
- Ah… I shoulda watched TV instead!
- Can’t feel face!
- O-Okay… I-I’ll get a job in the… morning.
- Wish… there was… universal… healthcare.
- That wasn’t supposed to happen!
- Ooh… well that… *groan* sucked.

Lola:
- I’m gonna tell Johnny!
- Johnny’s gonna get you for this!
- I can’t believe you hit me!
- That really hurt, ya know!

Lucky:
- Crap! *moan*
- Ooh no! Damn it! Aah…
- You little S.O.B.…
- I can’t believe this… I lost!
- Aaaah, you cheap mother-!
- Aah, I’ll be back!

Luis:
- Aaah… please… stop now… aaah…
- Ah… that’s enough, alright? Ah…
- Ooh, wow, I’m really hurtin’ here.
- Somebody… throw in the towel, please…
- I want my mommy!
- Ah… I need a doctor!

Mandy:
- Who beats up a cheerleader?
- You’re crazy and abusive, you know that?
- You have serious problems!
- *whine* But… *whine* but! I’m popular!

Max:
- Aah…! Call in the medical unit!
- Ouch! … I’ve sustained heavy casualties… ooo…
- I think I broke something!
- Someone get the license on that truck…
- But the law always wins!
- You should become a prefect…

Melody:
- Why would you hit a girl…?
- Ooh, my nose!
- That didn’t go the way I expected…
- Could somebody please call the nurse?

Melvin:
- *whines* Need resurrection scroll!
- Can’t find… D20... for saving throw…
- I calculated my odds to be better than that!
- It’s only a flesh wound!
- Internal organs bleeding… life signs fading… beam me aboard…
- Ooh, please call a cleric! I need a healing spell!

Norton:
- I didn’t see that on coming…
- I’m never gonna hear the end of this…
- Who needs all that teeth anyway…
- This hurts way more than that time I was jumped into my gang.
- This isn’t over. You and me are gonna settle this real soon.

Omar:
- Off we go into the wild blue yonder…
- I regret, but I have but one life to give for my country.
- *groan* In the navy, you can sail the seven seas…
- I’m coming Elizabeth…
- Oh well… that’s showbiz…
- *groan* Win some… lose some…

Otto:
- I’m dying!
- *groan* My head hurts!
- *groan* I feel ill!
- *groan* It hurts all over…
- *moan* I wanna go home!
- *moan* Oh crap! *moan* 

Parker:
- I hope no one saw that…
- That wasn’t fun at all…
- Why did I get beaten again?
- You’re gonna pay for this…
- I hope no girls saw this…
- I think I wanna go home…

Peanut:
- Uncle! Uncle!
- I-I give! I give!
- Okay! You win.
- Aaah, mommy! Johnny…
- S-Sorry… Johnny…
- I-I did it for Johnny…

Pedro:
- I’m coming, mama…
- What does calling me Ishmael even mean?
- I’ll get a job in the morning, mama…
- Pancakes? Where are the waffles?

Peter:
- Ouch! Come on…
- Come on, don’t kill me!
- Get the nurse!
- That hurt, you moron!
- Well done. You’re still a jerk.
- Aaah, come on! Stop!

Pinky:
- Someone call me daddy… please…
- (in a teary voice) I think I’m gonna cry!
- You ruined… my makeup…
- Did anyone see that?

Ray:
- Ooh, somebody call my mom. She’s my emergency contact… ooh…
- Books made fighting seem a lot cooler… ooh…
- Ooh, if only I would stopped imitating things I read in books. I wouldn’t be in this mess…
- Ooh, I know you beat me up, but we can still be friends if you want.
- We’re going to look back on this (faint chuckling) and laugh one day haha- *whine* oooh, my rib!
- From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee.

Ricky:
- Ooh… at least this numbs the pain in my heart…
- Ooh, live fast, bike hard, never say die.
- This ain’t too bad. She’ll feel bad for me. Maybe visit me in the hospital.
- Please tell my girl… I never meant to lose her.
- Looks like I’m a little rusty. A lot rusty.
- I should stick to fixin’ bikes…

Russell:
- Ooooh, ooooh… Russell nauseous…
- Russell n-no feel so-o good…
- Ooh… Russell… go to heaven now?
- Defeat tastes bitter.
- *moaning*
- Why world hate Russell? …why?

Seth:
- Ooh, that was not how it was supposed to work out.
- Ooh, the others will avenge me. Ooh…
- Ooooh, I should have won!
- Ooh… that should not have happened…
- But! But! I’m a prefect!
- You’ll get yours soon enough…

Sheldon:
- My tummy hurts…
- Why do I always get beaten?
- I’m gonna tell Mr. Crabblesnitch…
- I’m gonna tell Mr. Hattrick…
- I’m gonna tell Miss Danvers…
- I didn’t think that was fun at all…

Tad:
- No daddy, stop! Stop!
- Why, daddy? Why?
- I’m sorry daddy, I’m sorry!
- Please, daddy, don’t hit me anymore!
- I’ll do better next time dad, I-I promise!
- Don’t punish me daddy, please!

Ted:
- I think I gots a concussion.
- Call the trainer! I’m hurt!
- I’m on injured reserve!
- Man down. Call timeout.
- I’m a wounded duck.
- I got jacked up. Bad.

Thad:
- I give up!
- Please, stop!
- I surrender!
- That’s enough!
- Mercy! Mercy!
- My life is flashing before me!

Tom:
- *groan* I’m too young!
- They got me! How could I let them?
- You can kill me, but the gears keep turning.
- I won’t let go. I can’t.
- I-I-I must have gotten too close.
- It’s over… I’m over…

Trent:
- That’s all you got? *coughs*
- You ain’t nothing.
- Next time I’m gonna…
- Russell’s gonna hear about this…
 - *groans*

Troy:
- *whine* Tell my dad I’m… nah, never mind…
- Tell Russell I love him! …as a friend.
- My love of fighting boys can’t be beat… ever.
- So much for the army…
- I’ll never see a war now…
- I’m coming, Mr. Gacy.

Vance:
- Bon voyage, cruel world…
- Ooh, I coulda been a contender.
- Ooh… one way ticket to OuchVill… *groan*
- Aah, you’re tearing me apart… aaah…
- Oooh, what a buzz kill.
- Major drag daddy…

Wade:
- Oh god, my ribs!
- My dad’s… gonna give me… the strap for losing…
- Aah… I can’t get suspended again.
- How’d I lose…? I’m Wade!
- I’ll get you… I’ll make you pay…

Zoe:
- Good fight!
- You’re tougher than I thought!
- You got me there!
- I shoulda stayed home and read a book.

[Hayley]

Edna:
- I need a vacation...
- Palm tree...sand...mountain...
- Put me in the meat locker...
- Dr. Slawter...mmmmmm....
- Someone disinfect the grill....
- Not the flying waffles...WAFFLES...

Fenwick:
- Ahhhh, take me hommmee...aaaahh...
- Aahaaa, I'm done for...ohohoo...
- Aghhh...so this is how I go...oh...
- Ohoho...I could've done so much more with myself...aaahaha...
- *Weird coughing and moaning*
- Hahaha, well...thaaat's that...ahahaa...

Floyd:
- Urrrghh, crap! Uhh...
- Aarghh, just one more minute, it's all I needed...
- I...I never lose...
- Ohhhhh, nooooo....
- Argh, oh, I'm not READY to go...
- Aaargh, how did I let this happen...oh...

Freeley:
- Oww...don't send me back to the bighouse...ahh...
- Ohh...call the warden...
- Oww...take me...to the...infirmary..oww...
- I-I just need a little shut-eye is all...uhh...
- Owww...I'm coming...nightmares!
- Sleep...per chance to dream...uhhh...

Galloway:
- Ah! I need another drink...uh..
- Ahhh in all my years of teaching I never...
- Oh, you perfect BRUTE!
- Hah I'm getting too old for this.
- Why do I even try?
- Serves me right for even trying.

Gregory:
- I need...painkillers...
- Thank god I've got...good health insurance.
- Maybe I can get worker's...comp now...
- This is an on-the-job injury, ughhhh...
- That one is a baad case...
- That one's...only going to get worse...

Handy:
- Uhh...home sweet home..
- Ugh...back to bed...for me then...oh...
- Ugh...I need a drink...
- What am I doin' on the floor again...
- Oooohhh...my head hurts again...
- Oh, mmm!...hey, there's some chewing gum down here... (LOL)

Mr. Hattrick:
- O-oooohhh! My herniated disk!
- My kidney just prolapsed!
- Nurse! Help me! HELP MEEE!
- I need a doctor! I want medication...for egomania.
- Get the headmaster!
- I'm being assaulted!

Hector:
- Ugh...what kind of life is this? I want to go back to broadway!
- I'm so cold...so small...so umm...
- It's not fair...! Life just...ain't fair...
- I'll hunt you down...sniff you out...and kill you in your sleep.
- Revenge is sweet, my friend, and I'll get mine.
- I made a life of wreaking games...I'll wreak your goddamn life, boy.

Helper Elf 1:
- NO, PLEASE...CEASE AND DESIST!
- Stop, you're making father Christmas cry...
- *Cries*
- Ohhh, Christmas is (while crying) hard as an elf...
- -Inaudible-
- You feel powerful now, Jimmy? Oww...DO YOU?! *Cries*
- Et tu, Jimmy?
- Ugh..you're a real big man, Jimmy...
- Owww, my jingles...
- I was just trying to scare you...

Helper Elf 2:
- Ugh...nice Christmas spirit...*Cough*
- Ugh...down for the count, Jimmy...my toy-making days are over...all over...
- Jimmy...you didn't have to take it this far...
- Agh, no more...no more leave me be...
- You're gettin' coal for the rest of your life, do you understand?! Oh, owww, owww....
- Ow, my poor little heart can't take this...*Cries*
- You stole my life, Jimmy...my life...
- But all I like to do is make toys...
- My tiny ribs are busted...*groan*
- Ahh, why don't ya pick on someone your own size...

Hobo (Mr. Grant):
- Of all places, this is where I bite it?
- I need a drink...
- I don't...feel so good...
- How did it get to this?!
- Just like...back in Korea..
- I'm gettin' old...too old.

Huntingdon:
- Ughh...I need my pills...don't let the blackness take me...sweet mercy...aghh...
- The world ain't the same as it used to be...ugh...WHY?!!
- Ohh...you'll get taught one day kid...and you won't like it at all...ughh...
- Oh, man...city denies my permit...get beat up by some punk...eh...what else ya got for me life?!
- Ohmagawd...whatever happened to respecting ELDERS?!
- Ugh...I can't go on this way...DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Ian:
- Ugh, I need a drink and some stitches, son!
- Yo, I just got merked bad, yo.
- I hope welfare comes with medicade (not a typo), son..uh...
- Eh...Yo, I guess he...snuffed my fuse, yo...
- The bomb got diffused, son...
- No...you blew the bomb up bad, son.

Isaacs:
- Ugh...I wanna go home...
- Ugh, I need to be taken care of...
- Uh, so...so...tragic.
- But how could you? uh...
- I should've never come to this down...uh...
- I thought small towns were safe...uh...

Ivanovich:
- I don't get paid enough for this!
- Aww, man! My reputations gonna take a hit...
- One day...I'll come for you...punk...
- You're going to jail...one day...
- That...was an ugly thing...to do...
- I...I think I'll just rest here for a bit...

Johnson:
- Aaarrr-rrgh...
- You son of a...
- Tell my wife I love her...
- No! I can't go yet...!
- You'll regret this...I swear...
- I've been...defeated...

Kopke:
- Uh...my SPLEEN!
- Uhh, that's gonna hurrrrt!
- Ughh, I hope I can still get pregnant...
- Ugh...cramps! Serious cramps!
- Typical! Ughh....
- Ughh...I need a Pinot Grigio IV...stat...

Krakauer:
- I-I need my vitamins...
- They're sure...makin' 'em harder today...
- Must be...one of those...mechanical...robot...men.
- Enlisted men...today...
- Don't trust anyone...under 72...
- Fill 'er up...h-height test (?)...please.

[Hayley]

Lisburn:
- Where's mah brandy?...I just need a sip to sleep this off...
- At least...I get to watch some TV...as I recover.
- Ole' ladies gettin' beat up...what's the world comin' to..?
- This is an absurdity...I can't believe the day I've had...
- I just need my ultra (something) bed...that'll put me rye...
- I think I may have wet myself...

Luntz:
- Ohhhh, everyone will pay for this...
- There will be...payback for this...
- I'm very...very angry...
- AHH! My knees! Ohoho...
- Dr. Crabblesnitch will hear of this...
- You will not get away with this...!

Maria:
- I'm gonna tell your mom about this...
- Cowardly sucka'...!
- Gonna be some repercussions up in here...
- Tryina' disrespect me...?
- Ma man gonna hear about this...
- If you broke my nail...I swear...

Martin (fortunately, it's easy to get knocked out quotes from him):
- Ughh you got the last laugh, pal...ughh...
- Ughh I think you threw my back out...! Ughh...
- Ughh I'm gonna sue you for assault, pallll! Ughh...
- Ughhh who's gonna pay my hospital bills...?! Ughh...

Matthews:
- I should've worked for planetary geographer (?)...
- The wind has left these old sails...
- It's all fading...slowly...fading...
- I despise you...and I will have revenge...
- This is an outrage!
- *Coughing*

McInnis:
- Agh! At least I don't have to go back to the mill now...ugh..
- Ugh! Mah horoscope didn't say this would happen...!
- Oh...the numbers were wrong...all WRONG!
- I-I musta' missed somethin' in the stars...this shouldn't be happenin'...ugh...
- This must be because of that black cat...damn you cat! DAMN YOU!
- Karma mah ass! Ain't done nothin' wrong...ugh...

McRae:
- NNOOO....
- This is not happening...
- I just take care of people...
- I'm too old for this...
- I'm so, so tired...
- I'm just a frail, old woman...

Mihailovich:
- Ohh, Ivana I always loved you...
- What a country...
- Stinking American...
- Ughh, I see bright white light...!
- Ooohh...my keed-neys (how he pronounces "kidney")...

Monson:
- Officer down! Send backup.
- This ain't over by a long shot, punk...
- Suspect fleein' from the scene...he's five foot tall, white teenage male...looks kind of on the dumb side...
- You just...earned yourself a trip to juvie...
- Apparently both King Kong AND ratty teenage douchebags do have somethin' on me...
- This is so embarrassing...

Moratti:
- Why did I ever come to this place...?
- So much hard work...and this is what I get, eh?
- Heh...I cut ten thousand (?) haircuts...and this is the things I get...
- Just wait...maybe one day I SHAVE you...then you see...
- Maybe you go to prison one day...
- You are one of the bad ones...

Morrison:
- Uhhh...I can hear the music play...uhh...
- WHY did I become a COOOP?! Uhh...
- MOM?! WHERE ARE YA MOOOM?
- Ufff, sometimes I get sick of this job...
- My colleagues will get you...
- I should've gone into music instead...
- Ohhhh, my best bra is ruined...!

Mr. Gordon:
- You should be ashamed of yourself...
- You're going...to hell for that...

Peters:
- OHH! Help, somebody!
- All right, all right! Just...leave me alone...
- Ohhh! How humiliating...!
- Ohhh...R-E-S-P-E-C-T...!
- Okay! CUT IT OUT NOW!
- Ow! Ow! Ow-ho...

Nate:
- Oh, man...
- This is...harsh!
- What happened to me?!
- Whoaa....
- I'm in...pain, man...
- I don't...feel too good.

Neil:
- It's a conspiracy-ahhhhh...
- What did you do that forrrr...?!
- What did I do to deserve THAT?!
- That wasn't fair! Ahhhhhh....
- You cheated...!
- Call a doctorrrr...!

Nicky:
- Uuurrgghh...I'm jonesin' for some aspirin...
- Uhhhh...I'll be back, son...I'll be back...
- Tell Nalay (?)...I love her...
- All right...let me...just...catch...ma' breath...
- I'm gonna...just...collect ma' thoughts...
- Yeah...ugh...I'm lettin' you win...

Oh:
- Heh...this is not...convenient...
- Heh...my son...will...AVENGE me!
- This...is not good...
- I...hurt...
- I...can't afford...any sick days...
- (Oriental accent) I knew I shouldn't have fought...

O'Rourke:
- Leave me alone!
- No more...I can't take anymore!
- YOU-WIN!
- Call a doctor! Quick!
- I'll get you next time...
- I'm in serious pain...

Osbourne:
- Uhh...game overrrr....
- Now girls...no need to put your towels on...ughh...
- Uhh...give a big cheer for Ozzy...uhh...
- Ohh...TOUCH...DOWNNN...uhhh...
- Ohhh...we're all alone, girls...you can give me your special cheer now...uhh...
- Uhh...now show me that birthmark...baby...uhh...

Peabody:
- Ohh...I do not deserve this...
- I was meant to do bigger things in life...
- Oohh, this is unbearable...
- This isn't happening...
- I need help...pleasssseee...
- All right...I give up...

Philips:
- Why did I ever come to this school...?
- (Whiny) I've been trying to help you...!
- Gary was right...!
- You're...out-of control...
- WHY are you so angry...?
- *Cries*

Ramirez:
- Ooiii...I can't believe a kid just beat me...
- Ohh...-inaudible- this is so embarrassing...
- Oii pardon...I'm sorry...listen, leave, I don't want anymore trouble, no mas...
- Could so-ooowwoo...could someone please call the paramedics...?
- Aarg th-that hurt...way too much...
- Oww...ma puerdo...I remember being better at fighting...

Rushinski:
- I...can't anymore...
- What did I do to deserve this?
- Ohhh...I'm in pain!
- But I'm such a good person...
- I don't deserve this...
- I want my kids...

Salvatore:
- I'm a lover! Not a fighter!
- I need a hot nurse to tend to me...
- That...wasn't supposed to happen!
- Aw, man! I might have to miss work...
- Ohh well that really SUCKED.
- I'm all right...I'll just get some chick to look after me.

Slawter:
- I...am...shocked.
- Let me just...gather myself...
- Am I imagining this...?
- Harrington put you up to this?
- You will never get my collection...
- Genius' will not be kept down...

Smith:
- Aargh...I'll have you sued...I sweaarrrr....
- Ah...! Don't think the authorities won't find out!...*moan*...
- *Gasp*...You're more of a scrub than my SON!...aaarrghh...
- Ah, my lawyers...ugh...call my lawyersss...uh...
- *Gasp*...this is an outrage, a travesty...AN EMBARRASSMENNNN-ohhh...
- I'm just an old man...a feeble, weak, and scared old (fading away) man...

Stan:
- Oh, you slimeball...!
- Why...meee...
- Ohhh, nooo....
- Ugh...I can't let go! Can't-let-go...
- Ohh...how did I let this happen...?
- God...help meeee...!

Sullivan:
- Ouuch...call...my motherrr....
- (Pained voice) Please...don't...tell...my wife....
- Get me a doctor...my hernia's acting up...
- III haaate myyy lifffe...
- I'm just an accountannnt...
- Call the poliiiice! Leave me alooooonnee!
- I'mmm too ollllld for thissss!

Svenson:
- Aahhh...the mail...needs...to be delivered...ahh...ah...
- L-looks like...no one...gets...mail today...ahhh....
- Ahhh...how did this happen? I'm trained! I know how to...handle myself...ahh...
- Eh...I'm the laughingstock of the post office by now...ahh...ah...
- Ehhh...I gotta start getting...danger pay...uhhh... *And then you hear the director say 'perfect', LOL*
- Eh, eh...remember not to fight anymore...I ain't no spring chicken...

Theo:
- Ehh...Oh my Christ! Medicate me...pleeassee...!
- What the...?! My pipes never lose!...aaaghhh....!
- Uhh, it's getting dark! Dark and cold! Feels like a tranq...
- I'll get you, kid! You're marked...with the blood of Theo...
- N-noo! How did I lose that?! I'm gettin' old...
- Uhhh...Ah man! Not again! I ain't never livin' this one down...
- Aarghh! I can't ever go to the bar again...!...I'm ruined...!

Tobias:
- I guess I don't have it anymore...
- Shoulda' stuck to fixin' bikes...
- Time to hang up my gloves...
- This old man is in pain...
- Ain't a young hellraiser no more...
- Shoulda' stuck to arrangin' races...

Watts:
- I should've stayed in my laaab...
- What was his name? I have to remember his naamme...
- No respect these days...
- I need some smelling salts...
- This would never have happened to Rutherford...

Wiggins:
- Mummify me so I may live forever...
- Cromwell...I'm coming!
- Sing my praises in your songs...!
- REMEMBER THE MAINE...

Williams:
- Agh! Mm!
- No! Not yet!
- Spare me!
- Can't...let go...
- You little devil!...you'll get yours...
- Argh! How could this happen?!

Zach:
- Ugh! This is just like high school...ugh...
- Ugh! This is humiliating...!
- Aargh-I just got owned!
- Urgh, I hope the police don't laugh at me when I report this...
- I should've stayed home reading comics...
- Oh, why did I get out of bed today?! Oh...

[Red Blaster]

Can you fix one part for me: Denny's first knocked out quote "Why did you have to kick my...apadravya...!

[Hayley]

Consider it done.

[Mick3Mouse]

Nice! 

[BloodChuckZ]

Mah Gawd, this was an awesome amount of work. (!!!)

[Hayley]

dat bump

[residenteviloutbreak]

Tad:
- No daddy, stop! Stop!
- Why, daddy? Why?
- I’m sorry daddy, I’m sorry!
- Please, daddy, don’t hit me anymore!
- I’ll do better next time dad, I-I promise!
- Don’t punish me daddy, please!

He has serious daddy issues.