Just come across this:
'Bully' game offers lessons for real life
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
First, the bad news:
Critics of "Bully," a soon-to-be-released video game, say it glorifies schoolyard bullying, a strong contributor to youth violence, including homicide and suicide.
Now, the good news:
The brewing controversy over this game might be enough to draw parents' attention to the overall issue.
Author Barbara Coloroso in her book, "The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander," describes bullying as "arrogance in action." And many of our children experience it as a participant, a victim or a bystander.
"We've been overlooking the fact that bystanders experience fear, discomfort, guilt and helplessness that poison the learning atmosphere even more extensively," reads a 2003 report by the Washington, D.C.-based National Crime Prevention Council.
Our middle schools, especially, tend to be toxic breeding grounds for what's termed as relational aggression. It includes malicious teasing, or stealing someone's stuff. But it can also be spreading rumors or giving someone the silent treatment.
Now, the marketplace will have a video game soon that seems to encourage children who have been bullied to become vindictive. The game was supposed to be released last year but was delayed until next month. However, it's being presold online for about $50.
News of the game prompted worldwide protests in the eastern United States, Australia and Britain. Earlier this month, the Miami-Dade School District, led by attorney Jack Thompson -- a self-proclaimed anti-violent video game advocate -- publicly denounced "Bully."
"We have to protect our kids from unhealthy messages," says Kathy Masarie, founder of the Beaverton-based Full Esteem Ahead, an anti-bullying nonprofit for adults rearing, working with or caring for our children.
The "Bully" video game was created by Rockstar Games, the same company that produced the Grand Theft Auto series, where story lines include sex, drugs and murder.
Rockstar officials, though, deny that Bully encourages violence. In fact, it's being promoted as "brutally funny." The official screen shots show a bully violently kicking other students and forcing a student's head into a toilet. Players can also earn points for terrorizing students and teachers with psychological abuse.
"If enough of us get together and complain, this can have an impact," Masarie says. "So be outraged, because this is outrageous."
Parents should certainly be aware of the games our children are playing. But we also need to intervene before a child is having sudden stomachaches just before school starts.
I, too, have been guilty of telling my children to pretend bullying doesn't bother them. That's the wrong answer, Masarie says. "What kid," she asks, "has good enough acting skills to put that show on?"
I've also advised my children to tell the alleged bully that name-calling hurts their feelings. That can be the wrong message, too, Masarie says.
"If it's truly bullying, it will not stop without parent intervention," she says. "When there's unequal power and true bullying, that doesn't work. They just get bullied more."
So, it's important that adults be more intentional in our approach. Think about it: Isn't grown-up bullying really at the heart of domestic violence, road rage or hate crimes?
There are numerous ways to learn more about bullying. Local author Trudy Ludwig has two children's books -- titled "My Secret Bully" and "Just Kidding" -- that offer a child's voice to this discussion. (See
http://www.mysecretbully.com)
Full Esteem Ahead offers parenting seminars, workshops and publications. (
http://www.fullesteemahead.org)
Our children need us to be educated and involved. Bullying may be a game, but for those who are victims, it's never any fun.
http://www.oregonlive.com/news/oregonian/renee_mitchell/index.ssf?/base/news/1143633212105150.xml&coll=7 :roll:
